Sexual Ethics in Marriage
July 5
Paul begins 1 Corinthians 7 talking about sexual intimacy in marriage. While he prohibits sexual immorality (all sexual behavior outside the context of a one-man-one-woman covenant marital relationship), Paul encourages sexual intimacy within a covenant marital relationship. In fact, he says that giving yourself to your spouse is your conjugal duty. And it’s the duty of your spouse to do the same thing. The word he uses for duty has the connotation of indebtedness. Spouses owe intimacy to each other. He says, “Don’t deprive each other, except for a (limited) time of prayer,” (1 Corinthians 7:5) in order to avoid temptation. God intends for spouses to enjoy each other in physical intimacy. In fact, the marital act glorifies God!
God’s ideal is for believers to be committed to live in a covenant marriage “until we are parted by death” (remember your marriage vows?). Counseling and sometimes separation can be helpful. But Paul says that separation should aim toward a reconciliation. (1 Corinthians 7:11) Again, one important part of marriage is to mirror the relationship between Jesus and his bride, the church. Divorce shatters the mirror. Now, there are some limited situations where divorce is permitted (but not mandated) such as immorality, (Matthew 19:3–9) and I would add abandonment and abuse to those limited situations. As with church discipline, restoration is the ideal goal.
Application
Note, when Paul says to not deprive each other in order to avoid temptation, he is not saying that if a man commits adultery, it’s his wife’s fault for not fulfilling his needs. As we saw over the past two days, adultery falls into the category of sexual immorality.
While it is the duty to give ourselves to our spouse, it is never appropriate to demand or take from our spouse by force. Husbands and wives are called to exhibit mutual love, mutual respect, and mutual submission as we are led by the Holy Spirit. (Ephesians 5:18–25)
Obviously, there are times when physical intimacy is difficult or impossible. But even during those times, a married couple must make it a priority to maintain some form of emotional and spiritual intimacy. We owe it to each other.